What is the definition of Approaches Healing Cream?

An 'approaches healing cream' is like a superhero with an unnatural hand, but instead of saving the day with a cape and a sword, it uses some questionable ingredients like questionable honey and questionable essential oils. It's basically the ultimate DIY band-aid, but with a side of "maybe it's not even healing, just masking the symptoms."

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Here's an edgy example sentence: "Dr. Zane prescribed the 'approaches healing cream' after the patient's cat bit him, claiming it was the only way to 'approach healing' with a side of feline paw-some serums."